WEDNESDAY QUIZ 98

HOW TO KILL A MONSTER 101

This quiz is presented in the interest of public safety. Our planet has been repeatedly menaced by dangerous creatures, biological and mechanical, man-made and alien.

More often than not, monsters will NOT be stopped by small arms fire. Therefore, I've listed below various methods used to dispatch them. Identify the movies or TV shows (broken down by decades) in which these techniques are used. Be prepared to use them yourself if necessary.

Have fun.

FIFTIES

1. Aliens are done in by bacteria placed in earth's atmosphere by God.

2. Creature is trapped in a Coney Island amusement park near a roller coaster and shot with a radioactive isotope.

3. Monster blasted to death by bazooka fire while atop the Colosseum in Rome.

4. Alien is dissolved with acid, leaving nothing but a locket containing a message of peace inviting humanity to join a council of planets.

5. Creature is frozen with fire extinguishers, packed into an Air Force Globemaster and airlifted to the Arctic.

6. Aliens are surrounded by teenagers, who vaporize them along with their spaceship, by shining the headlights of hotrods on them.

7. Flying creature's protective anti-matter shell is nullified by scientists shooting "mu-mesons."

8. Monster is vanquished while underwater by self-sacrificing scientist and his oxygen destroyer.

9. Alien on spaceship is killed when astronauts don spacesuits and de-pressurize the ship.

SIXTIES

10. A plug in the creature's heel is opened, allowing his ichor (life blood) to drain away, and he falls to pieces.

11. Telepathic beings are dispatched by a time bomb in a briefcase in the custody of a man thinking only of a brick wall.

12. Fluids from bees and wasps cause airborne monster to crystallize.

13. While fire works against the aliens temporarily, the real key is salt water, which reduces them to a chlorophyllic pulp.

14. Creature is lured into a nosecone of a rocket and sent to Mars.

SEVENTIES

15. Robot has his face partially burnt with nitric acid and is finally set ablaze with a torch.

16. Microscopic alien viruses can survive only within a narrow pH range.

17. Dangerous creature captured by enormous brassiere.

EIGHTIES AND NINETIES

18. Creature is strangled with chain by slavebabe in bikini.

19. While still scalding hot from having molten lead poured on it, creature shatters after being sprayed by a water sprinkler.

20. Shape-shifting robot becomes unstable in molten metal.

21. Monster has himself shot after partially merging with a teleportation pod.

22. The de-evolution of humans into "earlier" lifeforms, mediated by a synthetic T-cell which activates latent introns, is reversed by a retrovirus engineered using amniotic fluid as a template.

23. Creature is dispatched by human who says, "And you go in pieces."

24. The monster, which replicates the cell structure of anything it devours, is defeated when a scientist feeds it his own cancerous liver.

25. Furry monsters are driven off with a little help from alien bounty hunters.

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